my life is your song

Thursday, August 17, 2006 @9:25 PM

I feel a need to blog.

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I feel a need to blog to take me off this craziness! Ladies and Gentlemen, let me proudly announce that i've had 11 hours of sleep

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in TWO days. 5 hours yesterday and 6 today. -amazing huh? *chuckles*- It's only been the 3rd week of school and I can already feel the pressure weighing in fast, the weight of the books are literally sinking my ship... yikes!

so it's an unorthordox method they're teaching us in the London School of Economics- these people are so brilliant that they've abandoned the original economics concepts and developed their OWN. so thanks to mr smarty pants in london we don't have any books to buy/refer to because they've cancelled out all possibilities, even bigger thanks to them that we HAVE TO attend classes every time to understand. THANKS. hahaha oh did i forget to mention that the readings for sociology are absolutely therapeutic... countless of concepts and theories to grasp, and then test what these dead men have written. mmmmm...... great! lol! i'm getting hysterical by the moment! all that travelling is just making me LOVE singapore hahaha... i really gotta psycho my dad into letting me drive to school hee...

Hey did anyone catch the Fireworks Festival @ Esplanade last week? It was MASSIVE... the sky was peppered with loud and bright starbursts of every colour, not to mention the atmosphere...! I was there for the Italy & Singapore team *glee* and there were herds, literally herds of people stretching from the Esplanade waterfront to Fullerton, and also the neighbouring shopping malls. steady!

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But beyond all that lies a heart of distress...

most of you probably don't know this, i've been going thru trials after trials, struggles after struggles, challenges after challenges from a time that I can vaguely recall... this april? probably then... not that i'm saying that its abnormal to face adversity in a believer's life... but what i'm going thru, i feel, is a great fire... a time of refining and moulding. Of spiritual attacks... and what I despise most about the devil is that when he knows he can do nothing to you he starts to play around with your loved ones...

people hear this: the first thing the devil does is to meddle with your emotions/feelings- BE FIRM. know what you're believing in, know who you're believing in, know why you're believing in... the devil deceives... once he convinces you that you are not what you are, he doesn't even need to move on to your loved ones... his mission is accomplished! Every adverse situation is an opportunity for him to persuade you- Guard your heart & mind, be strong in your faith, and trust that the Lord will make your paths straight!

when life seems to be never-ending and full of struggles, believe that he will bring you thru it... when things aren't happening, believe that he will bring it to you... he promised; even if not directly spoken to you, its also in the bible, so don't tell me you didn't hear it from him. whatever he promised- he WILL be faithful to complete it.

so many a times i wanted to run... from everything... but yet i held on to something... something i didn't dare say out but yet fully believe in... that he will be my saviour... he sees everything... he knows everything... he knows the hearts of every man they say... and i know he's going to do it again... this difficult time is but only temporary. don't give it up. it just shows how helpless we are without god... what are we without him...?

but yet again i didn't ask for this... picture this: a long row of people standing side by side backed by many other people and rows behind, all facing an open sea... waiting for that wave to come in... -this was a vision i had earlier this year... 1st row would be the church leaders, pastors etc. 2nd row would be the cell group leaders etc. 3rd row would be the members themselves. and i saw that wave hit the front row with such force... some fell when it hit, allowing the force to hit the rows behind... the forces we face are an invisible one- and some will fall when it hit... the question here is are you willing to pick yourself up again to fight this battle or would you rather remain 'fallen'?... what about u? don't rely solely on the church time to draw close to god... what about your own? have you ever thought if the 'covers' in front of you fall... what would you do? you'll be at the fore-front already! what would you do when you see the wave surging towards you? can YOU be strong enough?

sometimes it just isn't that god has given up on us... we give up on ourselves first even before god has given up on us... we give up before he can even do anything for us... he will never give up on us. we short-change ourselves when we let the devil convince us that nothing is gonna happen, and attacks always happens AT THE BRINK OF A BREAKTHRU. its really because the devil knows that your breakthru is near that's why the more urgent need to throw you into choas... if we give up, that is where the breakthru god has intended for us can't come. god has a better impression of you than what you think. be strong and believe in the one you love... who once saved you by dying on the cross for you...

build spiritual strength. develop spiritual depth. be equipped with the word when the devil attacks... no weapon formed against us shall prosper! also, many of us are waiting for a certain worship leader, maybe a certain song to to bring out the presence of god... the presence of god doesn't flow from a particular worship leader only. in fact- the presence flows out from our hearts, from the congregation itself! so stop searching for that perfect song... a perfect time to worship... the lord says,

'Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.'

Jeremiah 33:3

as for me, i'll stay here... and by god's grace, i know one day... that breakthru will come! i still remember the times when i emerged from the bottom of the pit: the immense happiness that i can't even believe how it happened- God did more than i asked, the joy that's just waiting to burst out from my heart- that i can't wait to share the joy of what god has done for me :) i'll keep on holding on... and keep on keeping on... hopefully... and by god's grace, we'll all emerge victorious!

k i'm going to bed now too late to study anyways. i know this entry's lengthy, but i just had to let it out... this song has great meaning in it- the lyrics speaks into my situation now... something nice to put up here :)

SANCTUARY

WHEN MY WORLD WAS IN DARKNESS
YOU SPOKE YOUR WORD
NIGHT TURNED INTO DAY
YOUR BEAUTY FILLED THIS PLACE

WHEN MY WORLD STOOD IN SILENCE
YOU FILLED MY HEART WITH SONGS THAT NEVER END
FOREVER I WILL PRAISE

TO THINK THAT THE UNIVERSE
COULD NOT WITHHOLD YOUR GLORY
YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE IN ME
I'M SO AMAZED

AND I WORSHIP YOU LORD
MY LIFE IN YOU RESTORED
HERE IS MY HEART
MAKE IT YOUR SANCTUARY
FOR NOBODY ELSE BUT JESUS ONLY YOU

YOU ARE FAITHFUL AND TRUE
GLORIOUS LORD
ALL MY LIFE IT IS YOU I ADORE
YOU'VE TOUCHED MY SOUL
COMPLETED MY WORLD I SURRENDER TO YOU